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Fit Out: Why Trying To Fit In Is Holding You Back

Shannon Malkin Daniels
Apr 14
2 min read

The Real Reason You Feel Like the Odd One Out (and Why It's a Good Thing) — Fit Out: Why Trying to Fit In Is Holding You Back

Dennis Rodman. Erykah Badu. Prince. Cyndi Lauper. David Bowie. Dolly Parton.

What do each of these celebs have in common? They didn’t just stand out, they fit out. They built iconic lives and careers by boldly and unapologetically leaning into who they are.

In today's social media-driven world, it's easy to get swept away in the sea of sameness flooded with glamazon influencers, pop star aesthetics and cookie-cutter trends. (More on social media next week.)

In the professional world, it's no different. We compare ourselves to six-figure coaches, sought-after speakers, Forbes list-makers and industry leaders.

Admiring others is perfectly natural, and learning from those we look up to is smart. But the danger comes when we stop learning and start imitating.

We look at what they’re doing and tell ourselves, "It worked for them. Maybe it'll work for me." But the problem is, you are NOT them. You are uniquely you. What worked for them won't work for you. And even if it does, it won’t feel genuine or authentic because it won’t be yours.

The people I mentioned earlier didn’t reach the top by copying anyone. They got there by embracing what made them different and amplifying it. They fit out.

I know what it feels like to want to fit in. As a kid and even now as an adult, I’ve always felt like the “odd woman out.” At times, I wanted nothing more than to be accepted and “fit in” somewhere, but no matter how hard I tried, I didn’t know how to be anyone but me.

The funny thing is, all those things your parents and teachers told you about being yourself and standing out (you know, that thing you got so annoyed about and rolled your eyes at as a teenager), turned out to be true.

The thing that makes you special is your uniqueness. And authenticity is your super power. So lean into it.

Stop trying to fit in when you were born to fit out. Because the world doesn’t need another carbon copy of someone else (we already have one of those)...the world needs YOU!