Focus on the Donut, Not the Hole.

A history show, a donut quote, and a surprisingly spot-on reminder.

The other night I was watching History’s Greatest Mysteries (I’m a historical documentary junkie), and one of the experts said something that stood out to me:

“Focus on the donut, not the hole.”

It took a second to sink in, but then he explained: The donut is the evidence we have. The hole is what’s missing. 

And even though he was talking about a decades-old mystery, my brain immediately jumped to the work I do (as it always does). 

I see this all the time in my coaching. Clients come to me hyper-focused on what they think they’re lacking: confidence, public speaking skills, presence, the list goes on. They see the hole.

But what they’re missing is everything they already do have. Their ability to connect. Their story. Their natural way with words. The experiences that got them to where they are. 

That’s the donut. And when we start there—when we work with what’s already good—everything else gets easier.

Do we strengthen the weaker areas too? Of course. But by focusing on what’s solid, you gain traction, not frustration. You improve and grow.

If you’re stuck staring focusing on the hole, here are a few ways to start shifting your mindset:

🔸 Inventory your wins. Big or small, jot down recent moments when your communication landed well or you felt proud of how you showed up.

🔸 Phone a friend. Ask someone you trust to share what they see in you, what they think you do well. Their words might surprise you (especially because we are our own worst critics).

🔸 Start from your strengths. Next time you prep for a talk or a meeting, instead of asking “What am I missing?” ask “What do I already bring to the table?”

Because chances are, you’ve got a lot more donut than you think!

Speak Success,

P.S. Want to know how your favorite movies or shows tie back to communication coaching? I’ve got takes. Just ask!