The Flaw Factor

What if the very thing you've been trying so hard to hide is the thing that actually attracts people to you?

I started dancing when I was six years old. My parents had originally signed me up for gymnastics, but when the coach suggested ballet to improve my flexibility and balance, they put me in dance too. That small decision changed everything.

For over 20 years, I danced just about every style: ballet, jazz, clogging, pom, chorus, step, hip-hop. I competed in high school, performing on a national stage at Disney. In college, I continued dancing, taught hip-hop at a local studio, and choreographed for competitive cheer teams. Dance was woven into my life in ways I never could have imagined when I first put on those little ballet slippers.

Dance taught me a lot (too much to list here) but one of the biggest lessons, one I didn’t fully understand until much later, was authenticity.

Even after years of training, I wasn’t the most technical dancer. Flexibility was always a challenge. I could hit a triple turn; but not every time. My extensions were decent but not effortless. I worked hard to be the best I could be, but I knew there were others who had more technical precision than I did.

So I leaned into what I loved most about dancing: connecting with the music, the performance and the audience.

There’s something powerful about truly feeling the music—the beat, the lyrics, the emotion—and letting it move through you. That connection showed in my performances, and it often landed me front and center in group routines. Other dancers on my team didn’t always like that. They’d question our coach, wondering why I was in the spotlight when they were “better” than me.

Eventually, I learned the answer.

It wasn’t about technical perfection. It was about emotional connection. The ability to make the audience feel something. I wasn’t in my head worrying about nailing every move. I was present, feeling the moment, and allowing that feeling to be seen. And that’s what made the performance memorable.

This lesson extends far beyond dance.

You see it on shows like American Idol and The Voice all the time. The best technical singers don’t always win. Sometimes, the ones with the most “perfect” voices get sent home, while those with raw emotion and a unique presence move forward.

That's because people don’t connect with perfection. They connect with feeling.

The same is true in public speaking and communication.

When you let go of perfection—when you stop performing the way you think people want you to and instead show up as your real, unfiltered self—you create connection. And connection is everything.

It’s what draws people in.

It’s what builds relationships.

It’s what makes your message matter.

So let go of the pressure to be perfect. Speak up as you...flaws, quirks and all. Because when you let go of perfection, you make space for something far more powerful: authentic connection.

Speak Success,

Founder, SPEAC Success

Public Speaking & Authenticity Coach